“Every woman wants to feel sexy.”  It seems we’ve run across that remark way too frequently of late, not to question its validity.  We disagree!

In the New York Times, on CBS Sunday Morning, and in most magazines, this sneaky pseudo edict floats by unceremoniously.  Are we being brain washed?   At 50 years of age and older, how often do you feel sexy?  Are they confusing sensual or pretty with sexy?   What constitutes sexy?  How close are sexy and sexual?

Our research about feeling sexy produced an unnerving number of photographs of women exposing most of their unusually large breasts, by wearing ridiculously low cut attire.  Don’t get us wrong, we love the low cut, cleavage enhanced image of ourselves.  But is flashing the masses the same as feeling sexy?  Our Aging But DANGEROUS crew thinks not.

Feeling sexy, or sensual, or pretty, comes first from inside.  Jefferson Airplane nails it when they sing ”Pretty As You Feel,” —You’re only pretty as you feel–Only pretty as you feel inside. It’s all about the “head” thing again—it always is.  What we perceive we are—we are.

What has helped me feel sexy, (and sensual), fashionably forward, and probably turn a few heads, (albeit gray heads), are the following tweaks you can easily accomplish:
• Shoes–A new pair of comfortable, sexy shoes with as high a heel as you can handle.  They do         exist.
• Posture—Posture is huge, if we can keep our shoulder blades in our back pockets and stand erect we can knock 5 years off our bodies in a fraction of a second.
• Eye makeup—Have a trained makeup artist (found at department stores), give your eyes a new look.  Make it clear up front that you are experimenting and may or may not buy product.  Bobby Brown at Hall’s in Kansas City (Susan to be exact), gave my eyes a new look last year and it has made a really positive impact on my self image.
• Hair style—Get a good professional to give you an honest evaluation.  My 87 year old Mom still looks fantastic, and periodically still sexy, because she keeps her hair current with the times.
Fragrance—nothing says I’m sexy like smelling great.  Not too much “great” however—the older we get the less we can smell.  Don’t knock people over!   Check with a friend to see if you are asphyxiating them.

You probably know your own hot buttons–there are multitudes of them.  What makes you feel great about yourself; new lingerie, a pedicure, yoga?  Most importantly, tell yourself how awesome you are, resurrect those flirting skills from a few years back, and most importantly, have a blast!

If feeling sexy, (or God forbid more sexual), isn’t your gig, take a look at the list above anyway.  There is no down side to enhancing the you you have hopefully, by now, grown to love.  (But keep your breasts inside your shirt!)

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